Just a lost soul searching for meaning in this world, while I wonder hopelessly in love with the world I live. I love to travel, and try new things, I refuse to admit that I am a hopeless romantic, but I really am.

Poem #3

Just when I thought that I was,
  catching my breath,
    not caring,
     not feeling,
      not wanting,
       not needing you-

We. Start. Talking. Again.

And just like that—
  all the feelings,
    thoughts,
     memories,
       wounds,
         scars-

All. Open. Up.

How and I supposed to stop from drowning—
When every time,
I start to find solid ground-
  it slips out from under me.

When every time someone tries to rescue me—
You pull them away.

And your not—
  even.here.

You don’t even know the pain you caused,
Because I was just some girl-
who cared about our friendship, 

Just. A. Little. Too. Much.

And when the topic of dating came up-
You just wanted to know who I was with.
And you never understood why,
I was always alone.

Then you had the gall to say—
"I could never date someone like you."

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Someone like me.

Doe you mean someone my age,
  a woman with dreams,
   aspirations,
    goals,
     hard-headed,
      and strong.

Now you found the perfect woman.
Have a ready made family.
Are just oh so happy.
And willing to talk with everyone about her.

When you visit it October,
you want her and I to meet.

And yet—
you don’t even realize that it’s a giant slap in the face.
But you think that her and I would be great friends.

I. Don’t. Think. So.

Not today—
Not tomorrow—
Not ever.

Because even though the wounds are healing,
The scars fading,
The memories becoming less vivid…

I will care for you.
Always.

Poem #4

Sometimes you laugh while I cry
Sometimes you say I make no sense,
  when I am talking so straightforward
Sometimes you walk away 
  when I just need a hug, to feel your touch
And yet then there are times when you hug me,
  when I don’t want you to even touch em

You tell me that something makes sense
  when I talk in circles, 
but then,
look so confused when I ask you a question about what was just said.

Why can’t we untangle this red string we are connected with?
When I met you, I knew,
  that I could my other half in you.
And for the longest time,
  I saw in your eyes that you saw the same thing in mine.
But now, it seem that you even question us working together.

What has she done to you?
Is she that
  beautiful
   smart
    talented,
      connected
       and good in bed?

Because when I look at her, 
  all I see is a conniving bitch
  who is just using you.

Maybe if you explain it,
  everyone will understand.
But I can tell you flat out,
  that no ones likes you together,
    because of how you’ve changed.

And not in a good way.

I guess in the end, it’s all up to you.
Hope you are happy with the choice you’ve made.

Migraines

The fact that my migraines have gotten worse in the last month says a lot about this city, stress levels, and me. I just wish that it would stop though. They are getting really bad, and are affecting my jobs.

Offended

I should not be as offended as I am right now about this woman de-friending me on Facebook, but I totally am. It’s like, what did I ever do to you, other than work with your boyfriend.

(Source: fallenangls)

covert affairs - behind the scenes.

(Source: tali-istherewithyou)

slowsolace:

when the boy
with eyes like galaxies,
and lips that burn
like the sun’s expansion
tells you he loves you,
make sure he means it.
if he doesn’t respect
that sometimes you need
to feel your own skin
without the interruption
of his iceberg hands,
leave him.
when he tells you
that it’s…

Poetry: Untitled #2

Just when I thought I was
catching my breath
not caring
not feeling
not wanting
not needing you—

We start talking again.

And just like that—
all the feelings
thoughts
memories
wounds
scars-
All
  Open
     Up.

How am I supposed to stop from drowning—
when every time
I start to find solid ground—
it slips out from under me.

When ever time someone tries to rescue me—
You pull them away.

And your not even here.

You don’t even know the pain you caused,
because I was just some girl
who cared about our friendship
maybe just a little-
too much.

And when the topic of dating came up—
you just wanted to know who I was with.
And you never understood why,
I was always alone.
Then you had the gall to say—
"I could never date someone like you."

What does that even MEAN?
   Someone like me?

Do you mean someone my age
A woman with dreams
Aspirations
Goals
Hard headed
   and 
Strong.

Now you found the perfect woman.
Have a ready made family.
Are just oh so happy.
And wiling to talk with everyone about her.

When you visit NYC in October
you want her and I to meet.

And yet—
you don’t realize that is a giant slap in the face.

But you think that her and I would be great friends.

I.Don’t.Think.So.

Not today—
Not tomorrow—
Not ever.

Because even though the wounds are healing,
The scars fading,
The memories becoming less vivid—

I will care for you.

Always.

abstract-interactions:

The path I walk is bright,

Flooded with all the others’ lights,

But I step along in fear,

For I cannot hold a flame like theirs.


It is a path of pleasing pain,

Of empathy feigned,

Of lonely days,

One feels insane.


To comfort a friend,

Without feeling his hurt,

And…